The unintentional humor was instigated by a recipient of my daily inspirational text messages and handled humorously by automated technology, I nicknamed “Holy Chat Bot”. I had created an automated “chat bot” to help answer some basic questions but mainly to respond to some “colorful” comments from recipients who aren’t too thrilled with Catholics and reply to the mobile number that is associated with the daily texts. Some people have extra time on their hands I suppose.
Some background. As you can imagine, if you run an organization that is in any way associated with the Catholic faith you are going to get negative interest from the haters out there. “Haters gonna hate.” so says Taylor Swift but they do need some spiritual direction, so says me.
Some people will sign up for the daily text and then, I assume, try to create a virtual disruption or protest by replying to the mobile number that sends out the daily text with something generally vile requesting that I do something to them or visa versa or something that’s plainly stupid or juvenile. I call this the “Attack of the Clones” because the negative messages are not original.
The mobile number is virtual (no actual phone is associated with it) so I have to go deep into the admin panel of the app I use in order to see any of the back and forth between users and the bot I created. I go “Duc In Altum” maybe once a month to make sure something technology-wise hasn’t gone side-ways.
I created a bot firstly because I nerded out and wanted to know how they worked and secondly I could use the bot to let recipients know that there wasn’t a live person on the other end of the line and thus their efforts, other than to enjoy the texts, would be futile! The bot tells them how to stop and start the texts and to go to Attollousa.com for more info. Anything vile that is sent my “Holy Bot” will tell them that it looks like they need to pray the prayer to St. Michael and the bot sends them the prayer. Holy Bot is learning new colorful language all the time!
So the interaction this week between “man versus machine” went like this:
Daily Text Outbound: “One Prays for miracles but works for results.” – St. Augustine (so far so good I thought. Who doesn’t like St Augustine??)
Reply from 618: Who this (maybe someone added a friend’s number in secret to taunt them….who knows?)
Bot: I’m sorry, I didn’t quite get that. Can you say it a different way?
Reply from 618: Wrf
Bot: “I’m sorry, I didn’t quite get that. Can you say it a different way?
Reply from 618: WTF (I literally laughed out loud – the bot had them correcting their crude abbreviation)
Bot: I see. I think you need this. Saint Michael the Archangel defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray; And do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the power of God, cast into hell Satan and all evil spirits who wander through the world for the ruin of souls. Amen.
Holy Bot “knew” the term WTF and sent them some divine inspiration through prayer.
Holy Bot hasn’t heard back from 618. Holy Bot took that round because 618 didn’t ask to stop the daily inspirational texts!
Another super popular reply to the daily text is about satan and how he should be venerated or about his power etc. Holy Bot patiently sends each one of them the Saint Michael prayer too!
Do you want to receive a brief daily inspirational text about faith and/or work? Go here to sign up!
Beware Holy Bot is watching you!
